Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Three/Tre/Três

What's most important?
The past? Lost love.
Forgotten faces and shrinking numbers.
Names I hope to one day forget.
And those that always return...
Qual è la cosa più importante?
Il presente? Ragazze.
Gli studi. L'Italia e la vita all'estero.
Il viso che non posso dimenticare.
Gli occhi. L'amore.
O que é que a coisa mas importante?
O futuro.
A vida com família? Os filhos.
A namorada. A casa e o trabalho.
As linguas. O país. O sorriso.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Comincio di nuovo

Qual'è la tua impressione d'amore?
Se io porto un fiore, vuoi cioccolate
E invece d'un po' di latte, con caffè non prendi niente
se trovo a essere bene, sempre sono cattivo
e sempre sono troppo attivo, sebbene io rimanga sul divano!
Che cosa vuoi quando mi da quello sguardo?
Mi sembro un sardo parlando con una cinese!
Sempre sono scortese quando cerco di essere educato,
con tua mamma ho parlato ma lei non sapeva la ragione,
vivo in una prigione dove le persone non sopravvivano.
Rimaneresti con me fino al pomeriggio?
Sebbene la vita sia difficile con te sono felice
sebbene il sole sia coperto, c'è abbastanza luce, certo
sebbene non cresca il fiore, esiste ancora amore
non io, non tu nemmeno le muse spiegano.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Caramel?

What flavor is this? Familiar. Known.
Can you be known to me also?

Serendipity, I'm sure.
Syruptition.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Umanità

e maechachamae ale chaschas hiskya myumyu a hiskyab maecha

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

dipingendo

I imagine you as porcelain
unwaked on a bed of blades

Friday, November 6, 2009

Dipingere.

Is the mind more intimately connected to sound
and at what scale does it register
watching wooden (or are they woodland) creatures
glide across the sands
to the hushed whisper of the sea.
What portal is most personal?
the window in your eyes
or hopping through your gallery
do I seek to see my own face
staring, gawking,
from behind pastel?
what moves me, as I feel I'm wayward swept
as if at sea.
scattered pieces of a jigsaw on the table,
a few, on the floor.
a paintbrush
a pen.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Back in Bold

Am I so bold
do I dare accept fate
deceitful in my findings
earnest in my intentions
the sweet ring of your laugh
in the music I obsess over
would I ruin this album if I wrote your name
on the front, in black ink, or in tears.
would you really accept that I didn't know.
would I really, eyes glazed, cheeks wet
heart fluttered, slip into your life again.
you may find me writhing and wriggling
into escape, a hare in the clutches of an unsure captor.
but also, you may find me, the perfect wine on your lips,
the perfect breeze in your hair,
the perfect sun on your face,
the perfect meadow for you to lay,
the perfect petal against your cheek,
the perfect stream running through your toes,
your eden.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_qWOIobpAY

Monday, October 26, 2009

Duce de leite.

perchance I fall
a muse has swept me
fluttered, reddened, crunched
a pile of leaves by the curb
I sit, mind open to the soul
can you impart on me something
an explanation of serendipity
why does every step find my foot
caught in sweet, sticky caramel.
i'm not able to escape the ever-presence.
I scour rhetoric for clues
John Nash unleashed on internet blogs
but care only for the messages
given in soft speech, erstwhile glances
and repetition.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JYxc5ftEzg

Thursday, October 22, 2009

O que é mais doce

pancakes with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon
a mojito or some other minted gin
strawberry lipgloss that sealed my fate
an odor of brilliant sex
a patch of flowers in antartica
burnt skin and soaked brow
a wind swept day at the beach
morning breath
the smell of coconut in your hair
downy freshness
one glass of orange juice and one of milk
a night in your arms
10 million million nightlights
the amethyst necklace your grandmother gave you
a bottle of white wine
my heart in a black box

Monday, October 19, 2009

açúcar

the crack of a whip
and a long road
winding past couples in conversation
willows and wooden benches
enamored by the sounds
of your voice
by the sea salted swish
swish, swish
long brown mane
porcelain white skin
your accent is foreign
to the words you speak
but your sound is a lullaby
as I lay in the arms of your words
drifting
forgetting
drifting.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Caramel.0


Silence kept and tongues are still
for a polygot you're quite mute.
does my loquaciousness upset you?
are you tired
you've never tried and still I find you
surrounded by a school of swimmers
and sometimes,
by a glow,
morning sunrise reflected off the slick road.
in a fit of self understanding
I've known to cling,
a firm velcro to the thoughts I'd entertained.
a fortnight of silence
and your ears are burnt.
do you dare or are you tired.
a gray cat steps across a canyon
leaps across a crevice
glides along the breeze.
as you watch him sail
are you tongue tied
or are you tired?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Caramel

Plumed, are you more alluring?
Sweet honeysuckle I thought I'd known
yellow petaled, at times, also, white
I'd grown accustomed to the rhythm of your sight
but know not what to make of a newness.
That you revealed to me, unwillingly,
unknowingly. An apple falls much faster
when it is not avoiding impact
unsuccessfully, leaving a soft thud
a reminder of the time of year.
We're merely visiting the orchard
knowing full well the full price of its fruit.
I'll not stay if you wish me not to
and you'll not if I also wish to be alone
but eventually we'll find ourselves here
with dew moistened brows
sun-flecked skin
and the ringing in our ears from the chimes
and soft glow of a tangerine sunrise.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Book Titles

Saga of Jamie Tramos:
Revelation
Assassination
Loss
Legacy


Citizen Watch

Deplore Ability

Ghizt

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sofie's song to Jamie? (Brushet)

Your life is a dream
you sleep under willows
your dreams are disturbed by the man in the black shirt

he calls out your name
your reply is unheard
he seeks your deliverance as something he's earned

you won't go to sleep while his hand is still near
you forget circumstance and stay in his gaze
you lie in the white sand and burn retinas
staring too long at something unclean

Deplore Ability cont...

The second time I read the letter I became horrified. After first receiving it, I had shredded it and taken it into the office bathroom, intending to flush it down the toilet. I was intercepted by my editor who was pleased with my latest piece, though possibly confused why it had emerged on his desk so quickly after being assigned. Truthfully, I'd felt so good about my decision to eliminate the evidence that I was able to write normally. And, of course, by normally I mean abnormally quickly and a bit disjointed. But at least my writing was no longer conflicted and grammatically ignorant.
I was dismayed when my editor, after having complimented my renewed linguistic ability, headed into the restroom, effectively ending my primary means of destroying the letter. I kept its pieces in my pocket and headed out of work early. I figured I'd earned a shortened workday and desperately needed to reach home before my wife. I could have used the toilet at home to eliminate the paper waste in my pockets. Instead, upon reaching my house I'd thought of a more suitable means of eradicating my ghosts. I made the paper into a handful and packed it into and old pipe my father had given to me. A bag of tobacco was always in the top drawer of my desk and I took it with me out to my deck and smoked its entire contents along with the problematic letter. By smoking, I'd physically absorbed its charred remains but mentally had conquered it: made it my subordinate. My will was superior to moral obligation.
The following morning, I awoke to a not so welcome gift wrapped around my windshield wiper. It was familiarly placed but not the dull pink of the parking ticket I expected. Instead, on a clearly fire damaged piece of paper, the words remained. Not as legible, but still obvious in intent. I took the letter to my den and shredded it.
Had I done this before?
The resulting strips I carried into the kitchen and tossed with spinach, walnuts, and grapes. I enjoyed my guiltless salad while watching sportcenter. After a time I found myself asleep on the couch, salad bowl resting in my lap. My slumber had dissipated due to the invasive chirp of my telephone. Not concerned enough to stir, I let the machine take the call. The message was unexpected.
-Hey, wondering where you've gone to, call the office when you get this.
A bit bewildered, I checked the time: 2 pm. I'd missed a full day of work.
How long had I slept?
Had I seen my wife?
My kids?
There was a knock at the door. The clock read 3 now. Doorbell rang. My footsteps were casual but my mind frantic as I ran to the door. My ear pressed against it to see if I could hear the number of people outside. A solitary breath. Opening the door, I expected a coworker or neighbor inquiring of my health. The man at the door was familiar but nothing more than an acquaintance. I watched his mouth move and knew the words though I'm not certain they were audible. He needed to use my phone and I was happy to oblige. He stepped into the kitchen, soundlessly, without being led, finding the phone without looking. He'd been here before.
Was he here now?
I stared through him, through the gaping hole where once was chest. My gaze stopped for a moment and peering through his ribs saw my wife reach the back door, hands full of groceries. She stepped in and the man was gone.
-Thanks for opening the door for me
She smiled, she was sarcastic but not mad.
I stared into her, nodded, and retired to the restroom.
The clock by the sink read 5. I ran the faucet. I felt no more awake after tossing water on my face.
Was it morning or evening?
Was I awake?
I felt something catch me in its figurative arms. My image in the mirror had thrown me backwards. Pale, hair on end, sunken, hollowed eyes. I slipped down the wall to the floor and sat gripping a bottle of shampoo. I was entirely uncertain how I'd come to it, but now cherished it as my only worldly possession.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Deplore Ability

Deplorable was my favorite word at the time. Perhaps it was an enjoyment of the familiar or some subconscious cry for help. Perhaps it was unconnected to anything as I often had found myself admiring some word most of all and also generally never seemed to consider it related to Karma or the direction of my life. I guess in this case I was more unsure. And in a predictable representation of guilt, I felt certain that the gods must be angry and half expected to be struck down with some obscure, incurable illness.
Physically I was healthy as ever - maybe mentally too. Only. I continued to sneak the word deplorable into all of my communications. In picking a restaurant I'd say "I know you really like that place but I find the quality for the price deplorable". In an editorial I mused "The current administration's deplorable agenda is summed up by their response to Russia's heavy handed but measured remarks". In another article I littered the page with word as if I'd spilled a cup of literary coffee and permanently stained the paper.
My editor, my friends and casual readers began to find me insufferable. At first my friends thought it was some intra-office bet. My editor meanwhile thought I was wasting his time to get back at him for a story he'd nixed. My readers began asking in their letters if I even knew what the word meant. Some asked if I was ok, maybe genuinely concerned that I was losing my mind.
But I was only obsessing over the word, harmlessly. That is - until the day it appeared in another's handwriting.
I did not recognize the script, nor the name, but the words stung me with the pincer of a suppressed memory reintroduced to a fragile mind. I was shattered when I first read it. Completely, entirely destroyed. At the time, I was sure my heart had burst. I was delirious and exhausted. I reread the words and knew I was still horribly, deplorably alive.
The letter was a livid response to an article I'd left unwritten. An article of a particular magnitude for which I had not had the courage to pen. Nor had my limited mental fortitude allowed me to think of the inspiring events in the month that followed them. After the first day it hadn't even been difficult to forget. I'd done nothing empirically wrong. Nothing illicit. Perhaps morally ambiguous but I definitely not reprehensible. So why did my conscience persist in anticipating punishment when logic insisted this was not possible.
Perhaps.
My general attitude was not hindered by a worldview that suggest and omniscient and active God. The letter did not convince me that there was a supra-natural legal order of morality by which we are all judged. It did, however, make me fear this possible truth. I was carrying a makeshift bandanna sack full of moral guilt and was crumbling under its weight...

Friday, May 29, 2009

Casa del Lago

It was Casablanca. The first movie we ever watched at the lake house. We also, one time, watched the Lake House, and I imagined I was Keanu Reeves writing you letters across time. I even wrote some of them, and left them in obvious places for you to find: in the shower, taped to the hose in the garden, sticking out of a crack in the dock. You found most of them. Some you never did.

Some I left overnight only to find shriveled and torn in the wake of a rainstorm. When it rained, we spent hours watching movies. All movies. Gangster movies, romance movies, classic movies, and every new release we got out hands on. Your favorite was Casablanca. The first time we watched it I admit I stayed focused on you. You mouthed every word; eventually I learned them all too.

You used to call me “Rick my love”, just before you kissed me. And just before you left the last time you leaned in and whispered softly “Though time may pass, we will always have the lake house.” It was cliché, cheesy; I didn’t care.

Not a day goes by I don’t still think about it. Falling asleep on the raft, my hand dipped into the nectar sweet waters, and coming in hours later red as a tomato. Lounging on the bank, watching the lake breathe long rhythmic breaths. Resting my head on your chest as you tried to mimic the flow of the water with your own. Sitting on the dock, legs dangling, reciting Italian love poems as we watched the salmon sun end its long days leap out of the lake and come to rest under deep cerulean waters.

Each morning, still, my heart flutters as I imagine I’m waking up to you, sun flooding the room, and expanse of crystal waters just outside our door. I left a note the last time I was there. I imagine years from now you’ll read it:

Though time may pass, you’ll always have me.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Segue la Luce

Era mezzanotte. Non c’erano luci nelle strade o nelle case. Non c’erano voci che si può sentire e il ambiente era tacito; due anni prima l’ultima albero aveva caduto e gli uccelli erano usciti. Una città aveva rimasto con cittadini che lavoravano durante i giorni e dormivano durante la notte. Non c’erano le cose divertenti e non c’erano i sogni eccetto di un ragazzo fantasioso. L’unica luce stette nel mente di Cristofero.
Lui lavorò durante il giorno come gli altri. E lui dormì durante la notte. Però quando lui anche dormiva, lui sognava. Lui sognava delle cosec he non aveva visto mai: i fiori, il fuoco, l’acqua, il vento e gli uccelli. Lui aveva interesse di rimanere negli sogni; loro erano meravigliosi. Negli sogni Cristofero cantava con i fiori. Loro cantavano le canzoni stranieri degli paesi come Cina, Brasile e Russia. Cristofero pensava che lui ed i fiori avevano cantata tutte le canzoni del mondo. Lui ballava con il fuoco. Era un fuoco gentile che conosceva tutte le danze. Loro ballavano la samba, il flamenco e valzer. Un giorno loro provarono a aprendere la capoeira ma non già possavono farla.
Negli valli Cristofero correva con l’acqua e sentivano l’aria anche correva con loro. Videro tutto il mondo insieme e conoberro tutti. Sulle montagne Cristofero guardava mentre il vento dipingeva con pennelli di foglie e boccioli di fiori. Un giorno il vento fu Van Gogh e un altro giorno fu Rembrandt e un altro giorno fu Michelangelo. Cristofero sedeva nelle alberi e sentiva il ambiente che recitava le poesie. Le rane parlavano di Shakespeare. Gli uccelli parlavano di Auden. La nebbia gialla sussurrava le parole di Eliot. E i suoni delle frutte e foglie cadute erano la voce di Frost.
I cittadini esisterono ma Cristofero visse.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

fraises

sugared, tasteful spring buds are fingertips
caressing the back of your throat
her sweet perfume that permeates
your thick presuppositions
of an after dinner delight
the perm you ignored
discarding the wisps of her
feathered cap in seeking
the ripe flesh you've come to expect
how you stroke her skin
with your lustful tongue
wrap your lips around the tip
with one final tease
and bite.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Aprendo? Ou sobstituo?

Me pergunto
O que é que você gosta de fazer?

Mas ainda sei
Eu não gostaria de pensar mais.
Muitas vezes, quando penso,
quando falo, quando faço qualquer coisa
não posso voltar a meu mesmo.
Tem um sotaque. Uma escuridão feia,
como uma sombra sobre minhas opiniões.
Não fujo da escuridão nunca.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Christmas Rape Series

2
Later in the living room his mother sat smugly celebrating her conquest, a full three weeks after she'd outed his uncle for what he really was. While watching a biopic on intolerance or Oprah or whatever blather she was entertained by, his mother channeled Harper Lee with her indignant expression and response to questions asked thousands of miles away and a full day before. He sarcastically agreed with her accepting position and excused himself from the room, wondering whether her conscience had any understanding of hypocrisy or if she'd still be giving him ten dollars to donate to African American scholarships. It made her feel better and he always pocketed the money. Later when he saw Tim on main street he'd hand him the ten and share a joke and maybe a drink. Tim hit the bottle pretty heavily much to the dismay of the boy's mother who treated him as common swine. She tended to glide by him, head in the air, talking of how sad it was that some people never really tried to better themselves. The boy always smiled, winked at Tim, and gestured to the fat diamond ring on his mother's finger and said "I'm glad we're not like that mother".

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Christmas Rape Series

1
His existential musings had never once led far beyond the width of a stone path. His curiosity unable to match the power of tradition. He feigned excitement on a clay countenance that reminded him of the faces he made in dough at his grandfather's bakery. Jesus, Mary and Joseph became a loaf. Jane Marie's smile became a keepsake when he dropped it on the floor and hid it from his grandfather. Her lack of teeth was satisfied by sugared confections and later removed due to the exploits of a sweet-toothed lover. Toothless and dry made her uninteresting to the boy who tossed her out the second story window, presumably to be torn and snapped by hungry crows. He smiled imagining a crow sucking in her lips, only to find that filled on her sweet flesh it could no longer fly. When an alley cat strode by that evening, he'd find a stuffed bird like mother made at thanksgiving, legs raised, plucked, savory. Ready to be pillaged and conquered in honor of hypocritical fore fathers whose exploits are forever celebrated in football and tryptophan. Curiosity getting the best of a thus retarded cat is manifested in the thud under his uncle's blue sedan being whisked away on the furious torrent of childhood memories. Mother having used her home court advantage to reminisce on circumstances nobody yet knew of, and a lover that none knew existed outside of the oft flipped through pages of a yearbook belonging to a family of elephants.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

spero

devo stare?
il mio cuoro mi dica che
il mondo è morto
se non stai qua
la mia vita è corto.
saresti parlare?
quando il mio voce è
vuoto della passione
e ho paura come
un bambino giovane
che non sa cosa deve fare.

Friday, March 27, 2009

an ancient doctor, mustard having dripped
onto his lapel, lunged forward
from the picnic table, reaching
out towards the child in a heap
by the shallow end of the pool
he lay as the doctor casually instructs
"stay clear, adrenal apoplexy".
terrifically precise in his craft
the doctor led us, as our brigadier general,
to raise the child, slowly, and carry
him, the four of us forming a rigid
parallelogram, a gurney.
time is indescribable in such an instance
as moments raced as the wings of a hummingbird
flip flap, flip-flap, flpflpflpflpflpflp
the ambulance sped around the bend
past patient observers
though was nearly capsized in a collision
with one particularly time-greedy fool
who's breaks were the only sound audible
until one child inquired from his position
behind the maple tree
"what of the slumber party?"
unaware that there would be no party that day
after all.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

va

Breeze as brushes sweeps sad debris
leaves that settled aside the orchard
black pickets, black gate still shut
old Colonials' tile river is split

the buzz of bees is unsettling
two travellers recall a fallen tree
the underside of which was ugly,
black, rotted, but also, alive

ten thousand thousand legs crawled
across the span of sored timber
a sour stench of foul consumption
overwhelmed the faint whiff of flower

the two feigned Jesus on a brick
red river flanked by silvered
apple columns, seemingly an entryway
into Atlantis itself, though long abandoned

they stood on the cement port perched
over the river as two
Atlanteans wondering direction
while the water appeared still

and when they turned away they were
equally interested in the whereabouts
of a local source of the cerulean
that filled the troughs when all they saw was red.

upon opening an ornate door
of blood washed cedar with gold tassels
they cried their Atlantean cry
which bounced around an empty foyer

they found a tar flecked marble floor
two figures with arms extended
as in the account of Michelangelo
his fresco rendered in flesh

the handiwork of whom they were unsure
and for moments found themselves
pacing in and out of the temple
talking only of Michelangelo

and as they deliberated whether
to disturb anything at all
they opted to seek brighter council
unafraid of ambition or Brugelesque insignificance

counting lessons as they retired
the two assumed the debt was paid in full
and were not afeared of the noisy isle
but rather bemused by it

they did not notice a young cod
riding, capsized, on a great blue via
past a bobbing orb in murk
as gulls lazily swam by.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Elder Philosopher

My grandfather was a philosopher
the monday morning kind
he contemplated politics
semantics and semitic practices
over coffee and a piece of
bundt or something or other.
once after a glass of wine
he leaned over and shared
with me the only thing I needn't remember
and yet always do.
"space is the next great frontier kid
celestiality shall replace superficiality
and the moon will replace the beach,
the finest coffee can be found up there."
he's crazy of course
but what would one expect of such a man?
We used to sit outside for hours
counting planes:
there were a lot.
He told me once when he was a pilot
in the RAF. Single handedly
he took down the red barron, a man he
called ginger, much to the dismay
of the redfaced barron.
They had been friends once, before
England had separated from the rest of
Europe. My grandfather remembered
watching the coast seep away
a butterfly who landed for a second
and tauntingly fluttered past.
None of this happened of course
but he was my grandfather.
He was at least a hundred and fifty years old
said he'd played both sides of the
civil war, and never lost a battle.
Not as a general, but on the front lines.
He said stonewall jackson swore by him,
well until he slept with jackson's wife
then he had to flee for the hills,
only to sign up with a union force
straight out of the ozarks.
my grandfather was a crazy man.
i never knew him.
he died before i was born.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

By the bays of 'e

Has since been pillaged, was nothing more than an exercise anyways.


breeze as brushes sweeps sad debris
leaves rustle by the orchard

forward, sidevias, lengthfool

a rental on the bayside
beyond the bar, a hidden treasure
sunken eyes from lack of sleep
filled to the brim, damp and salty.
tears on the head of the ore
at a lack of mined experience
mente naivety
-----------------------------
submission to sea salt crests
battering port tip-top capsized
flipped, providing a young cod
passage on a great via azzurra
past a bobbing orb in murk
as gulls lazily swim by

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Io Spesso Ho Paura

swift counter of a summer day
when heat is gone and sun away
while countenance may fade and sway
reality is set
no change in wages or in debt
past trespasses had not reset
nor accrued fortunes been lost, yet
most all had lost their way
each poor man is the poorest in the whole village
and each sinner had the larger plot in hell filled
all men were pigs, women mere whores, and children lost
there are but ashes in place of fire
as the sculptor stood, toes teetered, on the kiln edge
wondering the flood that'd follow if he's killed
and in the place of flesh a fresh clay mound he tossed
creation to best escape sad mire

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

gioca!

i'll never encounter a life
so simple as a child's
game where when confronted
with an enemy, the rules will change
to allow my retro mind
to forget sifting
through merits and rather
focus on the task at hand
when, by chance, I come
across victory, in my hands
should I choose I would rather let the ball slip
through my hands and feign accident
or when by skill you have me
cornered and about to lose
the corner is no more, myself
with it, and am a triangulation
of our former points, at which point the game adds
a dimension
and leaves its plane in favor of my preemption
if only circumstance followed rules
of rhetoric then the order would never be necessary,
nor the pieces, merely the meaning
even the child knows
non ja vwoahlay vinchairay
even if the "educated" choose
to consider him naive
he's having too much fun.